sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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