@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
