Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
