somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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