if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Drake has all the answers
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
