office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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