No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
