woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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