There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
