You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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