oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
