Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
