She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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