So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
