I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You smell like stripper and shame
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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