I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
