I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
