Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
