I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
