My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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