the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
