Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
