Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
