I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
