Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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