I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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