The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
