i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
