I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
