Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
