drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
