she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
