another moral hangover. fuck.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
