Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
