Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
