let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
