she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And then he peed in my hair
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