but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
