Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
