never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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