Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
