Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
