Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
