Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
