What did we do last night that was yellow?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
