dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
