you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
