You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wish my penis had an off switch
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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