I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
