I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
